So we’ve all heard how the Mayans were some great calendar makers and they had a 5200 year calendar, and it stops on 12/21/2012. Suddenly TV, the Internet and Movies are all buzzing about 2012. There’s a big budget Hollywood film called “2012” coming out, and it looks like a bloated piece of special effects crap. It’ll make zillions of dollars. Also, there’s all these shows on Discovery Channel, History Channel, and National Geographic, about 2012 and the Mayan’s alleged “doomsday prophecy”.

We were channel surfing the other night and a show was on National Geographic about the 2012 prophecy. Some chucklehead was discussing a book containing images of Mayan hieroglyphics that supposedly described the 2012 doomsday prophecy. It looked like a page with a bunch of little scribbles on it- boxes and circles and swirly things. The “expert”  pointed to a little box with a circle in it and said “This symbol shows rain”. Then he pointed at the next symbol  and said “This symbol shows lightning”. Then he pointed to the next little symbol, which looked suspiciously like the other two, and he said “And this symbol shows the complete destruction of the Earth and all life as we know it.”

But, really, they’re just a bunch of little boxes, ALLEGEDLY written thousands of years ago, ALLEGEDLY written by the Mayans, who are, for the most part, extinct. How the hell does this guy know that little box with a swirly line inside it means the end of the world?

I saw the pictures he was talking about, too, and they didn’t look like the end of the world to me. I’m no Mayan, but to me, they just look like little symbols. MAYBE it’s not a prophecy of doom at all. MAYBE it’s really some kind of primitive IQ test, and that guy failed it.

The little boxes and symbols weren’t scary enough, apparently, because then he flipped the page, and pointed to a crazy looking drawing, “Here we see a crocodile from outer space, and he’s spraying water out of his mouth, all over mankind.”

Really? This is what makes you think the world is ending in 2012? A space crocodile? THAT’s what you want us to be afraid of? I have to admit, I’m kind of intrigued by the idea of a water-spewing space crocodile. It doesn’t scare me at all. I’d kind of like to see it.

I hope the Mayans were right, at least about the space crocodile.